And all of a sudden,
I understood that I was not from the Governor's house, why did I think of going
there, I belonged to the Maharajja's house….I was one of his daughters….the footsteps
in his words….like a mantra, my heart was void….and so painful since then..
Why
did he have to leave for London? His majesty's orders he explained, I must… Shahnaz…my
name was Shahnaz, yes why do I keep coming here, none called me anymore so beautifully:
the footsteps in his words.My love, why have you not come again as you promised?
My heart aches so much…. the white benz was waiting for me, the driver begged
me good evening and said: mam, please come in the car as he held the door of the
car open..
I
lifted my silk skirt and was dazzled and anguished by the diamond anklet of my
right ankle, the magic was magnetic….a white strong hand held my ankle for a split
of a second as I stepped in the limousine , and the electricity going through
my body then brought me back memory of who I truly was, I was the mistress the
one who wants and the one who gets all that she wants….all but the call of the
footsteps in his words…all but this calling in my life
I entered the car, and sat in the plush red velvet back seat…he was there, his
blue eyes looked in mine as I locked the stare into mine until I mastered his
resolve….He remained motionless and repeated the same ritual as always…he poured
some drinks, pulled the curtain over the window separating the driver seat from
the back compartment, he added some ice in the drink and brought it to my lips
as he removed the hair pin and freed the nappe of my hair…I was of royal blood,
and I kept my stare on him as he took some ice cubes and pushed them in the front
of my silk blouse.
I pushed him back with my right feet, and sharply ordered him to make himself
ready. He was an hypnotized pray, he surrendered his pride and became the toy
of the spoilt little girl, one garnment at a time, he peeled, nothing moved in
my face, my mind was following the journey of the melting of the cold liquidified
ice cubes to my naked navel, meeting one more sparking diamond, the gold chain
around my waist reminded me of the chains of passion I once shared with the calling
in my life: the footsteps in his words . My lonely love….my heart was aching as
the man next to me suffered the agony of the mere lust of the earth, when I agonized
over the eternity void in my heartbeat. His breathing was so heavy, I let him
there in pure humiliation in front of me….
I
looked at him without moving, until he cried out for me, and when he finally dared
to catch my ankle in desperation to bring me down to him, cruel, so cruel I scarred
his pale face with a swift movement of my ankle, the diamond of the anklet cut
his left cheek, a deep cut and blood started pouring from the fresh wound. I watched
in gentle fascination..Now,yes. Now I was ready to receive him. From Mumbai to
Bavnaghar, the diamond sparkled in the shade of the ruby love….silent and fiery….for
several hours.
Then the palace of my family was ahead, I retied the strings of my clothing, redid
my tresse, and told him out without a word…he begged me for another time, and
I said not now, go…..and I watched him receeding to the size of a red ant in the
distance. Like others before him, I would become but another point in time, a
useless clue… He would never see me again, he was marked by the payel diamond,
he was done, scared no good anymore…I would need a new one, a fresh face to scar…so
easy to find, so easy to use, so easy to forget.
-2/3-The
Footsteps in his words-Copyrighted Rahman, brigitte Arlette- All rights reserved.
